Piper, sweet Piper
It never ceases to amaze me the perfect way in which the Universe moves us humans about in a seemingly choreographed symphony, landing us exactly where we need to be at exactly the perfect moment to learn, grow, explore or run in terror from a result that is potentially life changing.
In 2013 I agree to work with a woman trying to save what had been her dog, an English Bulldog prior to a difficult divorce and the tragic loss of her son. She could see that Jack was suffering in the old house but new family configuration. He was kept separate from the new family, isolated and alone long hours and had begun to display aggressive behaviors that were going to result in his being euthanized. I networked him thinking that I had taken on an impossible task and perhaps set myself up to not fulfill my promise to save Jack. That was November. There were lots of inquires but none that I felt were “right” for Jack.
December 20th Ashley and Jeff contacted me. They had no children or other pets. They really heard me when I told them the challenges that lay ahead with this dog and how limiting owning him could be. This was not a “dog park” dog or a “go visit the family over the holidays dog” or even an “open the door for the FedEx man dog”. And so, December 29, 2013, Jack met his new family. It was a challenge and trying and sometimes limiting. Jack had chronic dry eye and yet would not tolerate having medications applied. Ashley and Jeff had implants put in that medicated his eyes 24/7. Most importantly they adored him challenges and all.
As a human species we do not do this. We look for the fanciest car, the biggest house, the most attention getting mate. It is an unusual person or persons in this case who looked at Jack’s negatives as a gift. These are folks that are going to peel back the layers to find the loving spirit encased within all that trauma. Ashley and Jeff peeled, found and savored in the gifts that Jack was able to share with them. He showed his funny and smart and understanding and compassionate sides because they loved him and he knew it. Sadly Jack developed neurological arthritis of the spine. Again these folks covered their home in yoga mats for traction, sought out supportive veterinary care and loved, loved, loved this boy until the toughest decision was made to let him go. That was last month and the pain is still raw.
Earlier in the year Ashley and Jeff were awaiting the birth of their first child, a son who would be named Sam. They chronicled their journey through pregnancy in a manner that would make that boy proud. Every trip, every holiday, every milestone ultrasound, every day really. Most of us coast through a pregnancy with the end goal post set firmly in our sights. These guys chronicled, and can I use this word again, savored ever breath of it’s unfolding. That pictorial journey is what I received in my email one evening announcing the devastating news of the passing of little Sam due to a birthing complication. Thank you to Ashley and Jeff for sharing this ever so personal journey with me and again….the Universe and it’s plan.
They had no way of knowing that in 1991 I had lost a child as well. I understood the pictures. I understood the need to validate that life and share every blessed ounce of it with the world. I understood that in their sharing, they allowed me to speak about my child and my loss outside of a therapists office or with my surviving twin. There was my gift.
To say that this beautiful couple have suffered this year seems to skate over the depth of pain and the voids that are left behind. I do not skate well in the literal sense nor have I ever wanted to skate over the reality of life. To find someone with whom to share your life who has a desire for that same truth and depth of living is rare I think. Ashley and Jeff have it. I do not know them in the way I might like to. We do not share dinners or visit one another. I am like the post adoption case worker, there for facilitation and guidance. However I love them both as if we were family. I trust them unquestionably.
And so fast forward to September when I decided that our Piper, (an Old English Bulldog found living in a hole in South Carolina), was ready for adoption. I see a lot of dogs. I help as many as I possibly can. Rarely do I see a dog and feel such an inner pull to get it, that I step out of whatever modicum of decorum I have left with my rescue partners. However that went out the window with one look at this girl. I contacted my friend and said, “I want that dog.” She responded immediately that Piper was spoken for. I responded that if I did not get this Bulldog after taking an untold amount of Labs and Pitts and Retrievers that she could take me off her “save”list. She pacified the other rescue somehow and promised me this girl.
I believe that there is an invisible thread that connects us to every soul that we have known before and this girl and I were connected. After being spayed, vaccinated, heartworm tested, treated for chronic dry eye and severe allergies, this girl was still a work in progress, but ready for a family, a life and a future.
The interest was huge, over 2000 hits on Facebook and over 100 actual applications. I felt a bit like I was screening schools where my child (that I did not want to go away to) would go. Too many stairs, not home enough, too many other pets, not enough Bulldog experience….. To say that I was not making friends or garnering favor in the adoption pool would be a crass understatement. People were mad. I can not explain the weight of the decision to let a dog go. They have no say in it. I am hoping that the application process vets out any issues but there is no guarantee. We all think we are the perfect family, but I get to make the decision. I did not know what Pipers perfect home would look like but I did know that I had not found it.
Then in September I received word that Jack was losing ground and that Ashley and Jeff knew what was coming, just not when. It was several weeks after that I awoke in the middle of the night and just knew that they were to be her new family, but how. I could not share this with them or even figure out if I was right. Perhaps, as Ebeneezer Scrooge says in the Christmas Carol, “It was a bit of spoiled meat or a bad potato. ” Nope, I just knew. Then there was a near adoption, short circuited by an allergy flair and treatment.
And then when I decided just to sit with the whole thing, and like the best gift on Christmas morning but the worst as well, I received an adoption application from Ashley and Jeff, A prayer answered but a life was lost, Jacks. They were open to dogs, just did not want an empty house and felt that getting a dog was honoring Jack. They had given him their all. There were no apologies necessary. They reached out about tough dogs being as selfless and compassionate as they are. I said to myself, “Nope you need the gift of unconditional love and an easy going dog to share your lives.
You do not need to be the warriors fighting the cause. Let some healing in. And so I emailed them and told them that their dog was waiting. All they had to do was come and fall in love. Today, Ashley, now expecting a baby girl in May sat on the kitchen floor and kissed and held Piper. There was a sweet moment when Ashley looked at her husband and said, “Jeff, look at her, she is perfect.” And so my Thanksgiving is covered, I am beyond thankful. My Christmas list is covered as this sweet dog will be both healer and healed. This is as it was meant to be.
Then there was an eruption in me as I handed the leash over. There was not one question, doubt or regret in those tears, just a bit of sad at seeing her go. There is nothing but absolute certainty that this dog, who, (unlike most humans), was able to hang on to her love, her trust, her innocence and her spirit after being subjected to unspeakable abuse and neglect, is going to be rewarded with a lifetime of everything that she needs, the most important of which will be love.
